So not worth it

My friend Julie gave me a couple of her leftover squash plants last spring and I tossed them in the ground. They resulted in one or two nice zucchini plants and two scraggly-looking hubbard squash plants that looked like they weren't going to produce anything.

By mid-August, however, the hubbard plant exploded all over the garden. The vines were thigh-high and creeping out the fence. We had Little Shop of Horrors in our back yard; I would go out and hack the vines back occasionally. The squash they produced looked like giant alien pods--and I do mean giant. I could barely heft them out of the garden and down to the storage room.

My dad told me hubbards are a great winter squash because they have a super-hard shell. The internet said they have a really mild, sweet taste--perfect for soups, pies and breads. Sounded delicious. Last night I figured I should probably start eating them and pulled one out to cook for dinner. After using two big, sturdy knives, a hammer and a screwdriver I had made a two inch hack line. I gave up. I decided I really didn't want to put this much effort into the remaining five squash down in my food storage so I put nice big bows on them so they'd look festive, taped on little anonymous notes, and Kourtney and I hauled them into the car. We dropped them off on the doorsteps of five neighbors around 9:00 pm. I chose friends who I thought could appreciate giant squash humor and who might have access to better tools. We didn't even ring the doorbell; I was taking no chances of rejection. Here they are in all their odd glory.